Nobody on their deathbed has ever said “I wish I had spent more time at the office”
Rabbi Harold Kushner
I have now officially been a full time mum and blogger for a month. And I am loving it! I certainly don’t regret leaving the pressurised and repetitive 9-5 office environment. I am very happy that now all my energies will go towards doing what I love: looking after my son and writing. I feel so happy that I keep on waiting for something to happen and burst my bubble.
Being a mum got of to a great start, as we have spent a month in Cracow catching up with family and friends. It was wonderful to spend 4 weeks as a family. Little F slowly settled and realized that mummy is not leaving him every time she approaches exit doors. We were out most days discovering and rediscovering wonderful family friendly place in Cracow.
I feel like the past six months, which I have spent working and only seeing Little F on evenings and weekends, is a blank gap. There are so many things I missed in my son’s development. On our January holiday to Mallorca I was surprised that he is no longer such a dependent little creature I left at 13 months to return to work. That his character is forming, along with his sense of humour and opinions (at 18 months we seem to have crossed over into terrible twos territory). His physical abilities are greater every day, especially fine motor skills. I am also impressed by his understanding of laws of physics, gravitational force in particular, which is clear when he slides off the bed without going head first (after crawling over mummy and daddy,as if they were just funny shaped lumps not capable of feeling pain) . The testament to my ignorance of Little F’s progress are blank pages in his Baby to 5 scrap book.
The month in Poland, without a regular daily routine and lots of activities, was not very conducive to regular or abundant blogging. I did get frustrated about it to start with, but eventually I gave in and decided to unashamedly enjoy our time together. Now that we have been back for a week and our daily and weekly routine is taking shape I am finally working on my professional writing and blogging career. A career I wanted to pursue for a long time, but did not have the courage to admit to it. If I had admited it I would’ve had to take a stand: either take a big risk and follow my dream or conciously refuse to do what makes me happy, and in effect feel like a miserable failure.
February was also a special month as it inspired us as a family to de-clutter our lives upon return to London. The simple reason for that decision is that we only meant to stay in Cracow for a week, and so we only packed enough clothes etc for a week. Due to Daddy’s job being moved back a few weeks we were able to stay longer… And we managed very well on the small amount of things we took with us. I am thinking (and researching) hard what to do with all the things we own and don’t need or don’t use. I want to clean up my life in a green way, which means not just bagging things up and throwing them away. I will share my findings with you, in case spring has also inspired you to have a clear out.
Now I am experiencing a break from mummy guilt, which is quite a revelation, as this has been my companion for most of the last 6 months. I am spending time with Little F, making sure he is interacting with other kids, spends time outdoors and I am gearing up to start crafts and art projects (the results are likely to remain stricktly private, as I am not a crafty mamma, but do look at my Pinterest board, where I have started to save toddler projects, which caught my eye – the word easy is very prominent there…).
I am also enjoying cooking healthy and varied vegetarian fare for Daddy and Little F (sweet potato bhajis with cucumber and corriander raita anyone?). I have reached a stage in my life where I enjoy to cook for my family, something my teenage self would have considered subservient and ungracious slavery over the stove. I enjoyed trying new recipes before, but ever since we turned veggie I devour cookbooks, looking for inspiration on healthy family meals. It’s a joy! I am working on a post listing all my favourite vegetarian cookbooks, books which made my transition into no-meat zone smooth and tasty. Make sure to subscribe or follow me on bloglovin not to miss it!
Enough of self promotion…
I am writing this post as I am filled with positive energy and I want to share it with you. I love the thought that you are reading my words and that you are experiencing a fraction of my emotions. I hope positive changes in my life will inspire you to look at your life and make changes necessary to lead you to happiness and fulfillment. Take a long perspective and look at your life from your deathbed (may it not come soon!) and think what sort of life you would like to flash in front of your eyes.