Things have slowed down recently in real life and on the blog . And there is a good reason for it. My energy is being consumed by a new baby!
The baby is not here yet, but the overwhelming tiredness of the first trimester has meant that I could not work during Little F’s nap, nor after he went to sleep. I listened to my body – something I only really seem to do when pregnant – and took it easy, taking a nap if necessary. I was also too tired to practice Qigong, which would have helped me gain more energy.
Now that I have passed 12 weeks, my pregnancy is ‘official’ (i.e. I can share the good news beyond the closest family) and my energy is starting to come back. I am thrilled to be pregnant, but I am also happy to be back on my blogging legs. My brain missed this daily challenge.
As I have mentioned, pregnancy is the only time I actually listen to my body – I eat what and when my body tells me, I rest when I need to (rather than work through it), I take it easy when exercising rather than pushing on. I also treat my body with more respect – it’s now a temple within which a new life is forming, it needs some help to do it. I use creams and body moisturises, for which I never make time otherwise; I do gentle exercise to boost energy and circulation (well, I haven’t done that for most of 1st trimester, but I am going back to Qigong now); I take extra care of my teeth and gums (hello daily flossing!). In a way all this extra care for my body is an expression of love for the little life hidden inside.
This pregnancy has already proved more challenging than my first one, and we have been told I have M antibodies, but I hope I will enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed carrying Little F. We are awaiting news from the lab if the antibodies will prove a problem – we have whole two weeks to wait! I wish I was only told about possible complications once the results were ready and an answer could be provided straight away.
I have been much more cautions to start bonding with this baby, as I have had an early miscarriage before. I didn’t realise how common they are until I came across an inspiring project by Ann Zamudio – Don’t Talk about the Baby. Ann is directing a documentary about early miscarriages including interviews with women and their families, as well as medical professionals. The aim is to break the tabu and allow women to talk about the loss, which is an important part of healing process.
Now that we have safely passed the 12 weeks mark I am slowly getting more emotionally involved with this baby and dare to day-dream of the day we will meet him/her.
There were moments in the 1st trimester when I felt like a bad mother. I was too tired to play with Little F and on some days had to resort to cartoons – we only usually give him screen time when he or I are not well, which is very rare. Those feelings were not helped by raging hormones. I am very happy to be back to normal mummy duties now.
Little F doesn’t know yet he is to have a lovely new brother or sister, but we are taking him for my first scan this week and will start explaining the baby-in-mummy’s-belly situation. How did you break the news to your little one?